Gotta Love the New Age of Employees

Well, well, well……  here I go again, making a sassy little blog about an employee.  Actually, an ex employee, who ironically I really liked when she was in a good place.  My God, am I starting to sound like a broken record? Am I just becoming so sick and tired of the whole thing that my tolerance level is near zero.  One of my regulars mentioned a story to me today.  He was trying to get some service at a shop and evidently the clerk was just terrible.  The story went that he pretty much told the employee that he sucked and that if he worked for him, he would be fired.  I don’t know if I have ever gone that far.  I know I have thought of saying it sometimes, but I just haven’t gotten there yet.  He is also a business owner, and has about 60 employees.  He told me he has just gotten to the point that he is so sick of so much bullshit, that he feels like he just has no tolerance.  Well, I am right there with him!

On to my employees.  I am amazed that an employee would get pissed at me for reprimanding them for not being friendly to my, our guests.  Heaven forbid, that I expect some service.  Her response was “Well, I have been doing this for a long time”….My response, “Well, so have I and you seem to have picked up some bad habits along the way!”  With the flip of a comment her whole energy changed.  This was someone that could not afford to get her tooth pulled.  We are talking a couple hundred bucks..(UW Dental School, I think).  Yet throwing away a job that pays about $500.00 a week seems like the logical thing to do.  WTF!!!!!!!!!  After she left, several customers made comments to me about her not being friendly.  Lovely!  On to the next one!

Not sure if I can even type this without a good laugh…..OMG!  So, I put an ad on Craigslist for a “Rock Star Server”.  I say all the normal stuff, but am very clear on the ability to multitask.  For God’s sake, if you can’t multitask, you cannot be a damn server period!!!!!!!!!!!  So, in walks this super cutie, about a size minus 00.  She’s definitely got the spunk, with purple streaks through her hair, tattoos, and a few piercings on her face.  By the way, two is the maximum on the piercings.  I don’t really care if people think I am being a bitch about it.  It is what I want for my image.  I don’t need to be scaring any kids or God forbid a mom.  So this new hire  is like a whirlwind or, dare I say a tornado,  way more spunk than my last two disappointing experiences.  I figure it is worth a shot.  I mean, at least, she has a bit of character and personality.  Oh my God, what do I keep getting myself into?  On her second night she showed up late.  Lovely!  After the fourth day, she still was not able to figure out the table numbers.  I knew when I made those table numbers up when I opened that I was only lookin for trouble.  The idea that I would start at one and end at thirteen…pretty much all in a row…well, really, that is just silly.  Very, very confusing, I know.

My little “rock star” was definitely out of this galaxy.  When she showed up on her fifth day as crazy and flustered as the day before, I told her that I was just going to have her hostess for us so she could learn the table numbers.  Look, I am a sucker, and I try really hard to give every chance possible before I say “You are outta here!”   She then precedes to tell me how she has just had such a hard time with the table numbers…..um, oh my god…ya gotta be kidding me?  I say to her, “I know it seems pretty complicated, but seriously, I probably wouldn’t be telling your boss that you can’t get a pretty simple task achieved.”  She just keeps goin on about how she is going to work really hard to figure it out and blah, blah, blah.  I thought, I cannot deal with this all night, I don’t give a shit if we get our asses kicked, I don’t want her in my space…..period.   So, I calmly rub her size 00 arms and say, “You know what?  You can’t work here.  I am going to go ahead and let you go.  You are a really sweet girl, but this is not the right place for you!”  She looks at me with pure panic, realizing that she has lost yet another job…and out of the depths of her soul she says “I need to tell you something.  I need to tell you why everything is so crazy!”  On cue, tears start flowing and I think to myself WTF!  Do I really have to deal with this right now?  What is about to come out of her mouth?  Is she going to tell me that she is on her period, that her dog ate her homework, that she is emotionally unstable.  I can hardly contain myself, knowing full and well that this story will go on the blog and someday on a stage for everyone to hear.  I wait, and then it comes!  “My best friend is going to die tomorrow!”  Look, I am not trying to make light on this, but I didn’t believe her for a second.  She had never mentioned a word of it to any of us, and God knows, she jabbered the whole time.  I gently squeeze those size 00 arms as I say to her “Well then, this is a good thing.  Now you can go spend some time with her!”  Tears dry up instantly and she tells me that she is glad that she got to try this out.  Now she knows that it is just not for her.  She frantically grabs her bag and takes for the front door.  She stops as she gets outside and talks to herself for a second.  My guess trying to figure out if she has enough cash to get some kind of a fix.  About twenty minutes later as my restaurant is getting slammed she strolls back in and with a light spirited smile asks when she can get paid for her work.  Let me be clear here.  I am so sick of training these people and paying them.  For God’s sake they should be paying me.  I have never felt that way until the last two years.  I used to be such a great judge of character.  I used to be able to figure it out before I hired them.  Wait, they used to be different!   It’s true, these are different times, and the “kids” well they are just different.  Don’t get me wrong, there are still some pretty awesome ones, but the bad eggs seem to be spoiling at a record pace and I am  just damn scared and pretty much damned over it!

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